Anger

My brains seems like to explode. When everything in this head jostles each other, I, then, want to throw up.
I am fed up with my own words. I just want to spell any kinds of words to curse everyone, to blame my life, or just get annoyed with myself. I don't like myself being like this. But, this one just allow me to let my anger out.

Actually, I wanted to update my fb status and tagged your name just to let you know that I was disappointed with you. You are my best friend. But, these recent days you made me like a trash can. I will sincerely listen to your stories but please don't complain or grumble to me. I am not a god who knows everything and I am not the one who has no problem. At that time I wanted to yell at you, you were very annoying. Once I tried to tell my problem that turned my mood badly, you didn't give any nice words, but you told me that every male is insane. Well, girl, thank you you helped me a lot!!!

Yesterday you texted me that you wanted to hang out and released all kinds of stressful feelings. I tried to finish my job as soon as possible. Unfortunately, it was raining. You didn't text me again and I assumed that our plan was cancelled. Then, at night you told your other problem and I was so mad at you. Maybe I need to charge you as you always tell all of your problems to me. Sorry, I am a human too, girl! I do have my own problems. I do have anger. I do!

I know you may not care. But, please...

[you are my best friend so don't make me hate you]

Rutinitas

Sebelumnya.
Bangun tidur. Shalat. Tidur lagi. Jam 7 baru mandi (kadang setengah 8). Gubrak-gubruk. Jalan kaki ke kantor.

Sekarang.
Bangun tidur. Shalat. Tidur lagi. Bangun siang. Nyalain komputer. Ngecek jobdesk. Mandi-Sarapan (sambil duduk di depan komputer). Nulis.

Tetap saja. Masih susah untuk bangun pagi. Sekalinya udah bangun pagi, eh tidur lagi dan ujung-ujungnya bangun siang lagi. Heu...

Rencanaku untuk sebulan ini adalah merapikan rutinitasku. Menghabiskan bacaan yang baru kubeli dengan menghabiskan sisa gaji, hehe. Menyelesaikan beberapa masalah. Memulai hidup baru. Mengejar mimpi-mimpi. Say no to galau forever!

Yang paling penting...bisa bangun lebih pagi setiap harinya T_T

Satu Kata

Satu kata bisa membangkitkan amarah seseorang. Itulah yang aku alami (setidaknya mendengar dan melihat langsung) saat naik angkot hari Sabtu lalu. Syukurlah pekerjaan udah bisa langsung beres, jadi habis shalat Zuhur bisa langsung berangkat ke Gramedia.

Saat itu aku naik angkot GL. Di dalamnya ada beberapa penumpang, diantaranya ada seorang ibu dan dua anak kembarnya. Angkot berjalan cukup lambat dan sempat berhenti mendadak, hingga mengakibatkan beberapa kendaraan yang ada di belakangnya terpaksa ikut berhenti. Saat itu ada seorang mahasiswi memakai jas almamater yang naik sepeda motor dengan seorang temannya. Dia langsung menyalip angkot dan meneriakkan satu kata ke sopir itu, "G*bl*k!" Whuzz...mahasiswi itu langsung tancap gas. Seketika itu juga sang sopir langsung ngamuk.

Sang sopir pun langsung tancap gas dan ngebut. Awalnya aku tidak tahu kenapa si sopir ini langsung ngebut. Sempet ngerasa serem juga. Dan, ow-ow...ternyata

Investasi Kehidupan

Alhamdulillah, masih ada 'sisa' gaji yang bisa dibelanjakan buat beli buku.
Heu...bingung juga buku apa yang mau dibeli, saking banyaknya yang pengen dibeli.

akhirnya yang kebeli adalah "mereka"

my bookshelf (a half of it)

Pas bayar di kasir, eh dapet dua voucher 25.000 buat pembelian "Fancy & Gift" minimal 100ribu. Hmm, berhubung saat itu sudah tak ada uang tersisa (setelah 'kalap' beli buku), jadi vouchernya aku bawa pulang dan kukasih ke ibu, hehe...

Yups, demi menghilangkan kegalauan, buku-buku itu 'kan kulahap.
Selalu saja dengan alasan: "sebagai investasi kehidupan" di saat diri ini sudah tak terkontrol lagi membeli banyak buku, hehe (dan meludeskan semua sisa gaji dalam sekejap).

Reveal the Truth

I was so blessed since I could wake very much early this morning.
I felt like it's been years I could only wake up when the sun is rising high.
Sometimes, I will sleep again after taking praying but I could not sleep again this morning.
Finally, I knew the truth. Actually, I knew that it would happen to me.
At a moment, I felt miserable. At few seconds I transformed into a silly person.
Yet, it was a relief. Therefore, I can continue my life.
Therefore,
I can continue my life...starting my new life.